Happy New Year!!!
I work with all women and I never hesitate to remind that they have to put up with my crass comments about men because I’m single and celibate, or as I love to put it-“ain’t getting no action”. But one thing became obvious while having a chat with one of my coworkers, who originally thought that I was celibate by force and not by choice. I explained to her that while the opportunities exist all around me, and probably will as long as men are alive and well-it still is my choice. I’d like to say I am celibate strictly for religious purposes (READ: “It’s a sin, and I’m not supposed to”) but since I don’t do this when I find myself gossiping-I’m not even going there.
Although romance is a part of my life that isn’t in full bloom, I realize that I’m not a victim but rather a beneficiary of so much more. The creative energy and peace I have in my life are priceless. I don’t spend my days fantasizing about some episode I had with some hottie last night who might not ever call me again. I don’t have jealous fits over Facebook pics wondering why he’s plastered all over some woman the same way he was with me last weekend. And the best part? I own me. All of me. I’m not haggling over broken bits and pieces with someone who doesn’t want the full package.
It may seem to you right now that everybody you know is in a relationship except you. And holidays and those freakin’ Jewelry store commercials and ads everywhere can definitely add to the mix and lead to an avalanche of depressing thoughts. “Everybody has somebody but me”, or “even so-and-so’s got somebody and that heifer ain’t even right?!!” Sound familiar? I know, we’re all guilty. But one thing I want you to consider is this: Not everyone is in a healthy relationship, or in a relationship for the right reasons. Do you want a man that is going to truly love, respect, treasure, and honor you? Who sincerely wants the best for you, and will challenge you to grow and pursue your dreams? Or do you just wanna have someone for the sake of having?
Remember that whatever you ask for in your heart will materialize right before you. I’m getting specific these days, and I’m no longer afraid to tell a man who is only offering me a part time spot as his plaything that I want and deserve so much more. He might stop calling, and move on to the next chic-but I realize that he’s just done me a favor. I want to be loved. The waiting part is never easy, but that’s usually the season where the learning and un-learning takes place. Keep in mind you have to be ready for the man whose meant for you to show up. I once heard someone say, become the woman you were meant to be and then you will meet the man created for you. And you know what, you don’t have to wait!! You are free to live your life, doing all the things YOU want to do!!!
We believe that an empowered woman can move mountains. We believe that healing is a process. We believe that survivors bloom. We believe that every woman deserves to have a life she loves - and is motivated to create.
