Is HE THE ONE?

We all have standards by which we measure whether or not a man is 'The One'. If you're anything like me, you've probably spent most of your life asking yourself if every man you meet is the one. Oh, come on now ladies! Don't pretend it's just me, you know how we do... that tall handsome brother at the grocery store flashes you a smile and/or a Hello, and as you turn your cart and start stalking him to see if he happens to pick up any Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo or sanitary napkins, you can already see him at the altar waiting on you to step down the aisle
to"All my Life" by K.C and Jo-Jo of Jodeci.

It's funny-most of us really love that song and choose it for our fantasy wedding. But who's listening to the lyrics? All my life, I prayed for someone like you-and I thank God that I, that I finally found you.... But are you really praying or preying? If we truly prayed for our mates, and put it in God's hands- the divorce rate would be a lot lower. Instead we take matters into our own hands and decide based on our own understanding what makes a man the one.

I had a huge revelation today- that the elements that form this ministry are the same elements that make up the requirements for who 'The One' is. Let me break it down: H is for Heal, E is for Empower, and M is for Motivate. These three key elements are the way to know for sure if the man you're with is for you. Let's Define Him...

Healing is defined by Webster's as to make whole or bring restoration. After a full day of nurturing and ministering, your man should be able to pour into you. After a hard day's work, he should not be draining you. If you're feeling down, broken and insecure he should be able to restore you. A line from one of my favorite movies (Madea's Family Reunion) involves Boris Kodjoe towering over a woman who is apprehensive about dating him because of a wounded heart, he says "Some men come to restore."

Empower means to give power to or enable. Does he believe in you? Respect and Value your opinion? Does he belittle you or make you feel like an object? Always seeking control? Does he enable you to pursue your purpose? Does he promote your voice, or try to silence you because he's intimidated or jealous? Does he respect the authority God has given you, or feel that as a woman you should 'stay in your place'-seen and not heard? Pretty to look at, but not smart enough to be listened to? A man who empowers you isn't threatened by your accomplishments, but proud of you. He doesn't try to compete with you, He encourages you to do your thing. He stands behind you 100%, even when he doesn't get any credit. When you get thrown into the spotlight, he stands in the background-comfortably.

Motivate means to give motive, something (as a need or desire) that causes a person to act. Men can either be one of two things in your life; a Motivation or a Distraction. It's your choice. If you get with him and suddenly all you do is sleep all day when you used to be a go-getter, or spend all your money on him when you should be saving and getting out of debt, then he's not for you. I've unfortunately learned this lesson the hard way! On the other hand, he could motivate you to set goals and attain them, start your own business, and pursue your purpose!

All these elements make our mates a blessing and not a curse. Ironically, they are all verbs-action words. Just as Love is measured best by one's actions, and not what they say. The greatest love of all is when Christ laid down his life for us. It gets no better than that!

Matt 9:20 Says she touched the hem of his garment to be me made whole. Until we find him, let H.E.M be THE ONE!