TRUST

Trust is defined by Webster's dictionary as the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. A second definition offers: one in which confidence is placed.

Trust is a major factor in life. Not just in our male/female relationships, but we often have trust issues within our friendships, families, churches, and most of all within our selves. How many times have you or someone you know mentioned how and why they just can't trust anybody? "Ooh, Girl. I don't trust nobody! Especially men. All they do is lie and cheat. Especially other women, all they do is gossip and stab you in the back because they're jealous of you. Especially Pastors, all they do is take up offerings and sleep with the congregation..."

What does it mean to trust someone? As a woman who has struggled with low self esteem and plenty insecurities for most of my life, I could not even conceive of it. Even a compliment such as "You are sooo beautiful!" would send me over the edge. I would get so caught up in the motive behind the compliment, that I couldn't receive it. "Does he think he's gonna get some? I hope he doesn't think I'm gonna fall for that!" I'll be the first to admit to the aforementioned statement. It was a motto I swore by for many years. I even went so far as to justify it by saying that I had to protect my self because nobody else would. Obviously, this wasn't during my true walk with Christ. This was when I was the one I depended on as my help and strength in times of need. Because of one incident in my early teens, I literally thought every guy would cheat on me-so I beat him to the punch. Time and time again. Playing Detective and Verse P.I...(In case you're wondering how that went, let's just say my self-protection plan wasn't pain proof). I often struggled with insane jealousy, checking cell phones, going through wallets, and conducting all these 'tests' I created to ease my insanity. If he returned my call by a certain time, I could trust him. If he noticed another woman walking by, I couldn't trust him. How ridiculous!


Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding." According to what I knew, you should never trust anyone, especially once you've been hurt. Our understanding leads us to believe that we can keep ourselves from experiencing any hurt with our 'no-trust' armor. More often than not, we only see ourselves as the victim of a betrayal. For example a person who lies has something to hide, but how is that a direct reflection on us? A response like, "See I knew I couldn't trust him!" only indicates that you were anticipating something of the like. But why? In essence the better question to ask would be, "Do I trust myself?"

A friend once shared with me, Where there is no trust there is no love. Ladies, let's be honest. These days we get involved way too soon with people we don't know. And instead of creating antics to keep him from hurting you, learn to love yourself enough to trust the decisions that you make. We are just a prayer away from true discernment. If there is something you feel uncertain about, I dare you to ask God to show you what you cannot see, and make it plain enough for you to understand. I wasted so much time in unhealthy relationships, because I didn't think enough of myself to value my own judgement, and I definitely didn't trust God enough to warn me when something wasn't right.

Here's the bottom line: We should spend a lot more time examining our thoughts on trust. The ability to trust someone should never be based on their actions. People will always disappoint us, even despite their best intentions not to. Once a liar or cheater has been exposed-learn from it! The Word also warns us to guard our hearts above all else. But complete trust in the Lord is the ultimate goal. Trust that He'll be right there beside you, especially when you're hurting. Trust that He will never leave or forsake you. Now, that's a word you can trust!